So you think all the DEI snowflake cucks have ruinedcomedywith their woke mind virus? You love those liberal tears when they get all hot and bothered by some “edgy” humor? Well, see how it’s done by switching off your Tim Pool and Joe Rogan and turning to YouTube for a new, freestand-up comedy specialfrom one of the best in the business.Doug Stanhopehas a quasi-new hour, Discount Meat, that patches together a couple of shows with his COVID-era material that hasn’t been released in a special yet. It somehow manages to be one of his funniest yet, and that’s saying something.
If you like to mock Hannah Gadsby and feel like a big man, Stanhope’s set will remind you that non-woke comedy is alive and well, and you don’t get canceled even by joking about the most provocative things imaginable. He starts his set by asking, “What did you like better? COVID or 9/11? you’re able to only pick one to do over again. Like, which was more fun for you?”
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From there, he touches upon killing his dog (years after he helped his mother kill herself), his suicide pact with his wife, and his long-time alcoholism. He asks the big questions, like whether incest begins in the family planning stage. Go Brandon, right? Watch the hour of comedy below, unless you’re a woke commie cuck who gets offended. You mad, bro?
Stanhope has also been releasing podcast episodes that documenthis bonkers trip to Ukraineto perform comedy and head to the front line of the war. Like a funnier Hunter S. Thompson, Stanhope and his partners in crime regale us with stories (and footage) of their drug-and-booze-fueled journey through Mariupol and the Donbass. It’s a perfect complement to his new stand-up special. And if you like the profane ‘death wish’ vibe of Stanhope, he’s actually a great dramatic actor, as well. Check him out playing essentially himself inthe indie filmTheRoad Dog, where he expands on the powerful performance he gave in Louis C.K.’s wonderful show,Louie, in the episode titled “Eddie.”
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Stanhope has more stories than you could imagine, from him and Johnny Depp calling Marilyn Manson to get cocaine, to things he could only discuss after the statute of limitations had passed. Most of the funniest bits in Stanhope’s new special can’t be printed here, but we would like to share some of his brilliant and generally ‘Safe for Work’ bit about conspiracy theories. For Stanhope, conspiracies used to be interesting, but they’ve become lazy and ridiculous.
“9/11 had way better conspiracy theories. Every conspiracy theory is better than fcking COVID conspiracy theories and that QAnon sht. Oh, some fcking anonymous guy leaves a cryptic message, and you have to figure out the conspiracy theory on your own. He said some nonsense, and he’ll use it as a Mad Libs, give you an adverb, and there you go. There’s a huge difference between 9/11 — the scientific bent, the angle of the planes, what temperature does tungsten steel burn at — versus QAnon. ‘Oh, he said the monkey flies at dawn, so I think that means Tom Hanks is fcking kids with the Bilderbergs on Epstein island.'”
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Stanhope’s solution to the post-truth world where everyone hates each other and has a different conspiracy? “I stopped caring, and it’s worked out beautifully,” explained the comedian. “That’s what I’m preaching, radical apathy. Just don’t care on a personal level. Focus on your own street, your own people, where you may make a difference. You see, be a conspiracy theorist, just work on your own conspiracies first. Like, ‘Why does my own kid hate me?’ Pick the scab off of that little mystery. ‘How come everyone’s always busy on my birthday?’ Solve that, and then we’ll figure out if we faked the moon landing.”
That’s barely a snippet of a humorous segment, not even one of the best. So stick it to the libs and take a break from agreeing with Joe Rogan for three hours a day and listen to Stanhope for an hour. Unless you’re a little snowflake.
